Rules and Overview
First Round
You voted, you gave me reasons, and now we finally have our semifinalists! These outcomes were determined by you, the readers:
#1 Ghosts from Ray’s Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#8 Rockford Peaches (A League of Their Own)
Winner: Ghosts
This one isn’t even close. And while I may not have been happy with some of the blatant bashing of women’s sports in the comments, it was just too obvious that the Ghosts had a lot more talent. That “pitching” that was supposedly the Peaches’ strength? Kevin Costner’s batting practice pitches were more potent. The lead gets so big that “Moonlight” Graham comes in to bat. With Terrance Mann on the sidelines expounding on the importance of baseball, Shoeless Joe and the Ghosts cruise to an easy victory on the Iowa Cornfield.
#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Vs
#6 Durham Bulls (Bull Durham)
Winner: Angels
You don’t bet against God or little kids. The Bulls’ Davis and (Robbins) are too busy chasing after Susan Sarandon to really care about a meaningless exhibition, and God favors the wholesome. Christopher Lloyd provided the Angels with some great defensive plays, Joseph Gordon Levitt gets adopted by Danny Glover, and the Angels send the Bulls back down to the minors.
#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs
#7 Chicago Cubs (Rookie of the Year)
Winner: Indians
Unfortunately for Henry "The Kid" Rowngartner", the one pitch he can throw is the one pitch Ceranno can hit. Ceranno has a field day and hits three home runs. When Rowengartner comes up to bat, he tries to use the “pitcher’s got a big butt” line on Ricky Vaughn, who proceeds to throw a 97 MPH fastball to the kid’s temple. Once the runs start to pile up, Busey goes off the deep end and murders Daniel Stern in the dugout. Willie Mays Hays (the Snipes version) steals nine bases and scores from first on a bunt from Taylor after the Cubs defense quits on the team in retaliation for bringing in a kid.
#4 Sandlot kids
Vs
#5 Hardball kids
Winner: Sandlot kids
This one was back and forth. At the beginning of the game, only Benny can get on the basepaths for the Sandlot kids, and he keeps getting stranded as the Hardball pitcher continually strikes out the side as Biggie Smalls bumps in his headphones. The Hardball team gets a big lead through five innings. Then, the Sandlot kids decide to pull out the big guns. They get the Beast to sit near the third base line as a mascot, which scares the living daylights out of the Hardball kids. Ham and Yeah-Yeah start talking trash from the dugout, which distracts the Hardball pitcher enough to put some runners on in front of Benny, who is inspired by the ghost of Babe Ruth to hit an inside the park home run. Plus, Coach Keanu’s gambling habit flares up again. He bets on the Sandlot kids, and then forfeits the game in order to get the payout. Diane Lane is not impressed, and proceeds to go make out with Mr. Mertle in retaliation.
Thank you to everyone who participated! Here were a few of my favorite reader comments:
-"There is no better groupie than Al the Angel. Plus, Christopher Lloyd has much better hair than Susan Sarandon," -Bryan Navarro.
-(On the ending of Rookie of the Year) "Come on, the kid saw his mom in the upper deck and she told him to throw an underhand pitch and it worked. How unrealistic is that? Come on," -Stephen Hobbs
-"Even the over-the-hill ghost will K Geena Davis," -Mark Nelson
-"With Cerrano and his voodo, the kid will be dreaming that he is pitching naked in front of a sold out crowd," -Alex Kunkle
-"As much as I love the Sandlot kids, they only have one black guy, Hardball kids have nine. Athleticism always wins at this age," -Kevin O'Brien
So now, that takes us to the semifinals, where our bracket looks like this:
#1 Ghosts from Ray's Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs.
#4 Sandlot Kids (The Sandlot)
Once again, it's up to you, the readers, to determine who moves on to become the greatest fictional baseball team of all time. Remember, it's more than a popularity contest; you actully have to tell me reasons why you think one team would beat the other. Please leave a comment or e-mail me your reasons at stevensandberg@hotmail.com, and we can decide who moves on to the Championship Game!
5 comments:
3 over 1: Knowing that they are playing against another supernatural team that got an easy first round matchup against a female team, the Angels (the actual Angels too) play with a chip on their shoulder and go all out. They put a 100 MPH fastball behind one Mel Clark that plunks Shoeless Joe in the head (he can't read, and thus, isn't smart enough to put on a batting helmet) and the Ghosts just hit the crapper from there. Danny Glover also gets in a fight with Kevin Costner, which angers the Angels, but because of the the massive motivation the Angels have going into the game, they ignore it for the time being.
2 over 4: Knowing that all these kids are just hitting puberty, Jake Taylor (Berenger) brings all of the Indians' finest groupies to the game and has them all wear bikini tops and cut off jeans. The Sandlot kids are so distracted by all these hot women, that they continue to strike out at the plate and make errors in the field. Because they're playing little league mercy rules, the game is over in five innings with a score of 123-0.
After the game, Roger Dorn proceeds to get it on with Wendy Peffercorn, something Squints doesn't know about until two months after they are married.
So my final: Angels vs. Indians. Excited to see how this turns out.
Ill keep it short and sweet...
1 v 3 is hard because its essentially angels v angels, im going to go with the angels that have extra power, and arent just there because they are bored. So i am going with the angels over the white sox. Even though this will set up a subpar finals, because they wont be able to use their angels then.
2 v 4. Sorry kids, these guys are the odds on favorite and though you have a major leauge player on your team later, your children! sorry... you will be smaller, slower and have less ability. The only benefit you have is endurance, except the Ham. 2 over 4 easy...
I'm going to be honest everything I say about this should be taken with a grain of salt (I don't know what that means). I haven't seen any of these movies in a very long time, so my arguments may be erratic at times and should not be taken at full count.
In the 1 vs 3 match-up I'm going to have to side with the Angels. Need I mention that this is basically a match-up of good vs evil? Ghosts are inherently bad: they're always haunting people, making rooms cold, and hiding my remote. While Angels are usually good: concocting miracle schemes, helping old ladies across the street, and hiding my remote. So if the ghosts win aren't we promoting evil, and encouraging Kevin Costner to make another baseball movie? Possibly Field of Dreams 2: Kinsella's revenge? Aside from that, I don't know how ghosts are supposed to hit balls with their translucent ghost bats? Christopher Lloyd and his group of Angels are going to go all out in this match to help the California Angels, because as we all remember the Angels won't be able to help in the championship match, if they even make it, which I think they will.
In the 2 Vs. 4 match, as much as I'd like to choose the Sandlot Kids I'm going to have to side with the Cleveland Indians. There could be a problem if this is scheduled as a night game, seeing as most of the Sandlot Kids have curfews to abide by. My lack of argument in this match-up comes from the fact that I've only seen Major League once, and that was long ago on a Saturday afternoon while flipping back and forth between the aforementioned major League and the long forgotten show V.I.P starring Pamela Anderson's breast.
1 vs. 3 - The pick is still the Black Sox. That team is just too stacked, one of the best teams ever and the only team in this tournament that is a real team. I still think they win this tournament unless they gamble against themselves.
2 vs. 4 - Indians. Sandlot kids just lack the age, and experience to compete with a big league team even if the Jet is the truth.
3 v. 1: I have to give it to the Angels. First of all, they have GOD on their side. Also, its not like the ghosts have had a lot of strong competition lately. Most of their games are practices, and the peaches were an easy win. I just think the Angels have had to work harder, and have the greater drive to win. No one wants to see two orphan boys cry.
2 v. 4: My pick is the Indians. Like most of the other comments posted, I hate to see the sandlot kids go down, but they simply lack experience. Besides, can you see Smalls trying to hit Ricky's fastball? He'd wet himself. Give the kids ten years, and they might have a chance.
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