Sunday, August 2, 2009

World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams: Baseball bracket round 1


OK, here are the first round brackets for the baseball tourney of the World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams.

Here's what you have to do: Comment or e-mail me (stevensandberg@hotmail.com) your reasons for picking the winner in each matchup. Make sure that your reasons are more than just "I like the movie better." Give me a legitimate, baseball or movie-oriented reason why a particular team would defeat the other in a baseball game.

Remember, the worlds of the movies still apply. In other words, if a particular team was helped by a certain supernatural element, that also comes into play during this matchup (unless, in your breakdown, you can find a compelling or entertaining reason to take it out).

So read over the matchups, analyze the teams and players, and get me your reasons for picking the winners.

The matchups are as follows:

#1 Ghosts from Ray’s Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#8 Rockford Peaches (A League Of Their Own)

Yes, I know that technically the Ghosts were based on the 1919 Chicago Black Sox, however, I feel bad excluding them from this contest. Plus, various aspects of the team, from Shoeless Joe Jackson batting righty in the movie (he was really a lefty) and the inclusion of young Doctor kid, means that there’s enough fictional elements to put the Ghosts in.

About the Ghosts:Shoeless Joe was described in the movie as the greatest hitter who ever lived, and he hit homer after homer in that Iowa Cornfield. Even sent a liner back at Kevin Costner for trying to throw a curve. Ghosts didn’t really show a whole lot of pitching. There seemed to be one guy who was way past his prime doing most of the work from the bump. (That’s something that always bugged me about Field of Dreams – how come Shoeless Joe’s ghost was totally in its prime, yet every other player seemed over the hill?) It’s safe to assume that there were some high run totals in that cornfield.

About the Peaches: The most dominant and popular team in the All-American Girls Baseball League. Geena Davis swung a mean bat, but didn’t get much help from a lineup that included Rosie O’Donnell (no way she hits a breaking ball) and Madonna. For the Peaches, considering that there wasn’t much in the way of batting, you’d have to think that it was pitching and defense that carried them. They were helmed by Tom Hank’s immortal Jimmy Dugan, a former major leaguer who didn’t put up with any nonsense (“there’s no crying in baseball!”). The Peaches have a definite edge in coaching.


#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Vs
#6 Durham Bulls (Bull Durham)

Ahh yes, the most family-friendly baseball team against a team more concerned with scoring with Susan Sarandon.

About the Angels: At first glance, The Angels don’t really have a whole lot of power outside of Mitchell. Still, Mitchell seems like your typical Russell Branyan type who’ll give you 30 homers and not much else. Adrien Brody’s Danny Hemmerling was formerly a utility infielder, but lo and behold, angels gave him an edge at the place, so much so that he actually pinch hit for the power hitter Mitchell. The Angels’ main plate strategy: swing away, and let divine intervention do the rest. Tony Danza is the Angels’ ace. Even with the spirit of God shining down on him, there’s no way his body holds up over the course of the season. He’s a Jamie Moyer type, good for a 11-13 record and an ERA around 6.50. Skipper George Knox. Even in a Disneyfied world, he’s not above punching the play-by-play announcer on live television or cursing out his players in the locker room. Plus, he recognizes a good opportunity when he sees one: his season is already out of reach, so why not listen to the orphan boy who says he sees angels?

About the Bulls: Crash Davis is the main threat for the Bulls. He’s a career minor-leaguer, which means that he must’ve had numbers that were good for Triple-A but not quite good enough for a call-up. Let’s say 10 HR, .270 AVG with Durham. Again, there’s a reason this guy never made it to the big leagues. Meanwhile, Tim Robbins’ character Nuke LaLoosh is the top pitching prospect for the Bulls, and major league clubs are breathing down his neck. Plus, he’s got a great battery mate in Davis, who knows how to call a game.


#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs
#7 Chicago Cubs (Rookie of the Year)

Two major league clubs with abysmal reputations go head to head. One team was intentionally built with the league's worst players ("Mitchell Friedman?") One team has a flamethrowing kid on the mound. Which one moves on to break the curse?

About the Indians: The Indians have one of the best power hitters in cinema history, Pedro Ceranno. He was good for about 40+ home runs, and could hit them a mile. But if you give him something off-speed, he’s completely useless, probably striking out 170 times in the season. Willie Mays Hayes had the speed to reach base on an infield hit, so long as he focused enough to stop trying to hit home runs. Roger Dorn was once a decent contact hitter, but his skills have deteriorated, and Jake Taylor is on his last legs after a once-productive career. But all they need is one game. The starting pitching for the Indians left something to be desired. Harris was the typical aging starter, but could be productive for a few innings by wiping foreign substances on the ball. Wild Thing Rick Vaughn has great velocity, but is prone to control issues if things don’t immediately go his way.

About the Cubs: For the Cubs The Kid could thrown in the 100s easily and overwhelm batters. But correct me if I’m wrong, did the kid ever throw anything other than a fastball? Eventually, hitters are going to know what’s coming. The ace of that team was Gary Busey. Gary freaking Busey. ‘Nuff said. As for coaching, all the Cubs' coach did was agree to let a kid pitch for the team. Way to throw the rest of your team under the bus. “Season’s over guys! You suck so much that we’re bringing in a 12-year-old!”


#4 Sandlot kids
Vs
#5 Hardball kids

Which one better personifies the youthfulness of the game, the talented team from the city, or the ragtag group from the sandlot? For that matter, which team was more talented?

About the Sandlot kids: From reader Anthony A.: "Clearly the leader of this team is Benjamin "The Jet" Franklin Rodriguez. The guy can play D and hit with the prowess of a 16 year old, but his best attribute is his lighting quicks. Whether its getting out of a pickle or running from the monster, this guy is sure to beat you with his speed. Plus the guy made it to the majors, which is living proof that he is a tween superstar on the diamond. Next up is Hamilton "Ham" Porter. He is the Yogi Bera of this team. He is an adept catcher with staying home run power, but he most remembered most for his classic one liners. Whether its getting into the pretty-boy baseball teams head or berating the weakest member of the Sandlot team (Scotty Smalls),"
Still, there were some holes on the team. DeNunez couldn't pitch (he even gave up a home run to Smalls). Speaking of Smalls, the kid was basically there out of charity. As Anthony A. put it "he failed at boyhood."

About the Hardball kids: Let's face it, Keanu Reeves is not coaching any team to glory by himself, which makes me believe that there had to be a lot of hidden talent on that team waiting to come out. The Hardball kids were dominant on the mound, as their ace was in a zone whenever "Big Poppa" played on his headphones. He couldn't concentrate without the song, though.


So there you have it, the baseball bracket. Now it's up to you. Get me your compelling reasons for the winning teams, and I will take all of them into consideration before the winners are announced. You can't just vote for a team, you need to give me a reason why one team would beat another at a baseball game.

Play ball.

6 comments:

Shoe said...

#8 vs. # 1 Going with the ghosts. Shoeless Joe vs. some females, enough said.
# 3 vs. # 6 Angels in the outfield, any minor leauge team would lose plus the angels make web gems on the regular
# 2 vs. # 7 I'm going with the sleeper cubs, Rookie of the year is untouchable reminds me of joel Zumaya
# 4 vs. # 5 I'm going with Sandlot, they are solid plus I think Hardball is prone to mental lapses and have consistency issues

Kevin O'Brien said...

1 over 8: Shoeless Joe alone would kill Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell.

3 over 6: as much as I love Crash Davis, they are a minor league team and the Angels do have God on their side...until the finals.

2 over 7: Cerrano hits three home runs because the kid can't throw curve balls, and Harris' junk is just too much for the Cubs' hitters.

5 over 4: As much as I love the Sandlot kids, they only have one black guy, Hardball kids have nine. Athleticism always wins at this age. Reeves will bring this team down eventually, just not this early.

Alex Kunkle said...

Ok here we go... #8 v #1. Ghosts take out the chicks...its hard enough to take women sports seriously, but with madonna and rosie (despite the fact the was somewhat thin, and one could possible believe she may be able to run) against Shoeless, sorry girls, time to take out the trash.

#3 v #6. I agree with Kevin, its the first round, angels will take it easy...just stick the glove up and wait, you will make the play.

#2 v #7. This one was fun, but the indians by far are the odds on favorite for me...They have everything, plus with Cerrano and his voodo, the kid will be dreaming that he is pitchin naked in front of a sold out crowd. Im gonna look for the Indians to cruise to the finals and maybe get a good matchup eventually.

#4 v #5. I'm going to give this one to the sandlot kids for 2 reasons, first Neo, i mean keanu thinks this "baseball world is just a fictional world created by the machines, and he is really eating some gray mush onboard a ship close to the core of the earth. Second, given the fact they have the fourth seed, this will be played on the lot, so the kids from the projects will have to fear the beast, and darth vader on the other side of that fence, there used to gunshots, but what about choking from mind control.

NelsonM said...

No. 1 over No. 8 -- Tom Hanks' (Jim Dugan) coaching can't overcome the fact that women can't play baseball. Despite the fact that the Rockford Peaches played out of my parents' hometown of Rockford, Ill., I just can't put them past Shoeless Joe and the other ghosts of Iowa. Even the over-the-hill ghost will K Geena Davis.

No. 3 over No. 6 -- The California Angels have Danny Glover on the bench, an ageless Tony Danza on the hill and Christopher Lloyd as an angel. Supernatural forces always prevail over slump-busting Susan Sarandon.

No. 2 over No. 7 -- There is just too much firepower on the Indians. That is, if we're talking about the first Major League. The Indians lose a lot when they made the switch to Omar Epps in centerfield in place of Wesley Snipes. Edge to the Indians.

No. 4 over No. 5 -- Sandlot kids play to win. You saw them beat up those rich kids on their own field. No matter how crappy they looked on their own sandlot, their busted out the big bats when it mattered. And Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez can carry the team to the next round.

No upsets in the first round.

Anonymous said...

#8 vs. #1 Mathup Got to go with the ghots, the team is awesome they have shoeless and they should be able to add non roster invite archibald moonlight graham so he can bat.Madonna and Rosie are a great combo in the middle of the lineup but the ghosts have to taker it.

#6 vs.#3 Got to go with crash davis and the bulls, the guy is the all time minor league home run leader and with nuke laluche on the mound and susan surandan as a groupie i can't bet against them.

#2 vs. #7 Got to go with the major league guys, bob euker doing the game is awesome, i don't care about the product on the field because come on the kid saw his mom in the upper deck and she told him to throw an underhand pitch and it worked how unrealistic is that come on. Major league for sure.

#5 vs. #4
Got to go with the kids from hardball if the sandlot kids cant muster up the courage to take on a dog and james earl jones they have no chance adainst the hardball kids end of story.

Stephen Hobbs

Bryan Navarro said...

1 def 8. Ghosts bruise the Peaches.
Though they are over the hill, the ghosts are that much angrier and play ruthlessly. Bean balls are more common than strikeouts. Sure, the Peaches are playing to represent the working women during WWII, but the Ghosts represent the yearning inside all Americans to play a beautiful, timeless sport.

3 def 6. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Heaven-on-Earth beat down Bulls.
As a team filled with more characters than a Green Day concept album, the Angels have the personalities to get the job done day in and day out. And there is no better groupie than Al the Angel. Plus, Christopher Lloyd has much better hair than Susan Sarandon.

2 def 7. Cleveland cleaves Chicago.
The Indians have the most well-developed individuals in the tourny and make easy business of "Gardenhoser's" Cubs. When the Kid uses the "big butt" line on Vaughn, hell breaks loose. Either way Cerrano is K'd twice and goes yard to right center. Hayes gets two infield singles and scores from first on a base hit.

4 def 5. Sandlot Kids sweep up Harballers.
Benny the Jet is a latin reincarnation of Rickey Henderson. No way his team is losing while he's playing. And these kids live and die by baseball. The only way their heart isn't in the game is if Wendy Peffercorn shows up, which might happen thanks to Squints. Still, with the luck of the Babe on their side, Smalls and crew are tough to sidestep.