World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams: Baseball Championship Game

Rules and Overview
First Round
Semifinals

And now it's down to two.

It was a hard-fought battle, but in the end, you readers decided which two teams would meet in the baseball Championship Game of the World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams. But before we get to the matchup, we need to take a look at the results.

#1 Ghosts from Ray’s Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Winner: Angels
This was the toughest to call. Both teams have supernatural elements working on their side. One team was the ghosts of some of the most talented players of all time, while the other team was guided by divine intervention. However, it seemed like the Ghosts had been placed in a sort of purgatory for their gambling crimes; they weren't in hell, but they weren't in heaven, they were in Iowa. Meanwhile, God and His Angels were directly aiding the California Angels to victory. The main reason that the Angels win is because they are in it to win it, while the Ghosts are happy just to be playing baseball for all eternity, and don't care if they win or lose. The Ghosts already screwed up once by throwing the 1919 World Series; they're not going to ruin their chances to keep playing baseball by beating a team playing for a little orphan kid. It's an enjoyable game, and all six people in attendance loved the competition, but in the end, the Angels have the edge.

#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs
#4 Sandlot Kids (The Sandlot)
Winner: Indians
The Sandlot kids have heart, but let's face it, they're just kids! They're going to be too shocked to be in the presence of MLB players to even put up a real fight. Ham is able to talk trash to distract Ceranno in the first few plate appearances, but then Jake Taylor does it right back when Ham comes up to the plate. All of the kids are too afraid to step into the box to face Vaughn's heat, and gladly allow themselves to be called can't-hack-it-pantywaists for it. The ghost of Babe Ruth, Wendy Peffercorn's attention, and Dennis Leary's guidance don't do a thing to inspire the kids, as they stand no chance against an Indians team too big, too tough, and to inspired to win the whole f'n thing to spite their owner. After a severe pummling, the Sandlot kids head to the pool after five innings.


My thanks to everyone who participated! Now, it all comes down to this.

Baseball Championship Game

#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Vs
#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)

Keep in mind, there are certain things to consider in this game. The Angels will no longer have divine intervention, as Christopher Lloyd wants the Angels team to learn to do it on their own. The game will also be played in Cleveland, where the hungry fanbase will be going crazy for the Indians to try to end their long championship drought. Other than that, the same basic rules of the Tournament apply. Not only do you have to pick a winner, you have to tell me why they'd win. Make a comment or e-mail me your thoughts at stevensandberg@hotmail.com

Two major league teams, two former laughingstocks, two great movies, one championship on the line. Who will be crowned the greatest fictional baseball team of all time? Again, readers, the decision is yours.

Choose wisely.

Josh Hamilton, Deadspin, and the price of fame

Josh Hamilton's story has always been accompanied by words like "comeback," "redemption," and "triumph." After all, Hamilton was a man whose baseball career and personal life were derailed because of drug and alcohol abuse. But with plenty of help and determination Hamilton got clean, dedicated himself to his family, and turned his life around, culminating in a memorable performance in the 2008 Home Run Derby.

Fans were awed by Hamilton's perseverance in overcoming his addictions, and considered him a success story for people who've struggled with their own demons.

But one thing we tend to forget when we praise these success stories is that these people, like the rest of us, are only human.

A big story making the rounds today is that photos have popped up on the Web site Deadspin showing Josh Hamilton in a bar, shirtless, doing whipped cream body shots with a number of young women, hardly activities that would befit a man who has previously proclaimed his sobriety and his dedication to Jesus, his wife and kids. Hamilton himself even held a press conference today admitting that the incident took place in January, and said that he was embarrassed that he had fallen off the wagon in that particular moment.

Does this cast a shadow over his inspiring story of redemption? Hard to say at the moment. But does it make Josh Hamilton a horrible person? No, it only means that he's human, and humans make stupid mistakes.

In Hamilton's case, his mistakes are made all the more public. Considering how important his recovery was to his image in the first place, these photos prove even more damning. But such is the life for a professional athlete. In this current era of instant media coverage, every aspect of an athlete's life is capable of being covered. That means that every action, statement, or mistake can easily become public record. It's not enough anymore to simply watch your words in front of a reporter, or to stay away from the Paparazzi. In Hamilton's case, he did his deeds in a dive bar where someone happened to have a camera. That person sent them to Deadspin, and the rest is history.

Deadspin only did what it was supposed to do. If someone sends them photos of a player who's image is based on his victory over drugs and alcohol going wild in a bar, it's only right that the public knows this. There's been a mini-backlash against Deadspin for this, mostly because the photos don't actually show Hamilton drinking, and because some feel the Web site deliberately waiting until now to use seven-month-old photos to paint a negative picture about Hamilton. But what was Deadspin supposed to do, not run them? I may not agree with the subtext of delight Deadspin is taking taking in showing the photos ("look what Josh Hamilton is doing!") but it was Hamilton who engaged in those actions, Deadspin just posted the photos.

Is it fair? Probably not. Regular people wouldn't want their dirty laundry being aired out for the world to see. But this is the price professional athletes pay for being so visible to the public. As a celebrity, you can't go out and do body shots off a coed, because someone will have an incentive to reveal that fact.

For Hamilton, after overcoming his addictions (and having that fact stressed in magazines, TV shows, and books) the last thing he should have done was to go into a bar, let alone party with a group of girls. But he made a mistake. He's human. Now that the news has come out about it, he has to own up to his actions, like any one of us. But unlike most of us, Hamilton has to own up to those mistakes with the eyes of the entire world - fans, newspapers, blogs, TV, Radio - scrutinizing him.

And that's all Hamilton's fault. Despite his celebrity and his previous history, he chose to go into that bar and do the things he did. Don't make excuses for him, or berate Deadspin for exposing his indiscretions. But at the same time, don't label him an evil hypocrite, or think that this knocks a hero off a pedestal and now fans can never trust anyone.

Just think of him as somebody who did something he knew he shouldn't have done. He'll get skewered for it now, just like any of us would, only a little more publicly. Don't make it bigger or smaller than it is.

He's human, and he did something really, really stupid.

Why is Phil Mickelson imitating my golf swing?

I don't think it's supposed to look like that.

But seriously, Phil, it's great to have you back.

Courtesy of ESPN.com

World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams: Baseball first round results & semifinal bracket

Rules and Overview
First Round

You voted, you gave me reasons, and now we finally have our semifinalists! These outcomes were determined by you, the readers:

#1 Ghosts from Ray’s Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#8 Rockford Peaches (A League of Their Own)
Winner: Ghosts
This one isn’t even close. And while I may not have been happy with some of the blatant bashing of women’s sports in the comments, it was just too obvious that the Ghosts had a lot more talent. That “pitching” that was supposedly the Peaches’ strength? Kevin Costner’s batting practice pitches were more potent. The lead gets so big that “Moonlight” Graham comes in to bat. With Terrance Mann on the sidelines expounding on the importance of baseball, Shoeless Joe and the Ghosts cruise to an easy victory on the Iowa Cornfield.

#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Vs
#6 Durham Bulls (Bull Durham)
Winner: Angels
You don’t bet against God or little kids. The Bulls’ Davis and (Robbins) are too busy chasing after Susan Sarandon to really care about a meaningless exhibition, and God favors the wholesome. Christopher Lloyd provided the Angels with some great defensive plays, Joseph Gordon Levitt gets adopted by Danny Glover, and the Angels send the Bulls back down to the minors.

#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs
#7 Chicago Cubs (Rookie of the Year)
Winner: Indians
Unfortunately for Henry "The Kid" Rowngartner", the one pitch he can throw is the one pitch Ceranno can hit. Ceranno has a field day and hits three home runs. When Rowengartner comes up to bat, he tries to use the “pitcher’s got a big butt” line on Ricky Vaughn, who proceeds to throw a 97 MPH fastball to the kid’s temple. Once the runs start to pile up, Busey goes off the deep end and murders Daniel Stern in the dugout. Willie Mays Hays (the Snipes version) steals nine bases and scores from first on a bunt from Taylor after the Cubs defense quits on the team in retaliation for bringing in a kid.

#4 Sandlot kids
Vs
#5 Hardball kids
Winner: Sandlot kids
This one was back and forth. At the beginning of the game, only Benny can get on the basepaths for the Sandlot kids, and he keeps getting stranded as the Hardball pitcher continually strikes out the side as Biggie Smalls bumps in his headphones. The Hardball team gets a big lead through five innings. Then, the Sandlot kids decide to pull out the big guns. They get the Beast to sit near the third base line as a mascot, which scares the living daylights out of the Hardball kids. Ham and Yeah-Yeah start talking trash from the dugout, which distracts the Hardball pitcher enough to put some runners on in front of Benny, who is inspired by the ghost of Babe Ruth to hit an inside the park home run. Plus, Coach Keanu’s gambling habit flares up again. He bets on the Sandlot kids, and then forfeits the game in order to get the payout. Diane Lane is not impressed, and proceeds to go make out with Mr. Mertle in retaliation.


Thank you to everyone who participated! Here were a few of my favorite reader comments:
-"There is no better groupie than Al the Angel. Plus, Christopher Lloyd has much better hair than Susan Sarandon," -Bryan Navarro.
-(On the ending of Rookie of the Year) "Come on, the kid saw his mom in the upper deck and she told him to throw an underhand pitch and it worked. How unrealistic is that? Come on," -Stephen Hobbs
-"Even the over-the-hill ghost will K Geena Davis," -Mark Nelson
-"With Cerrano and his voodo, the kid will be dreaming that he is pitching naked in front of a sold out crowd," -Alex Kunkle
-"As much as I love the Sandlot kids, they only have one black guy, Hardball kids have nine. Athleticism always wins at this age," -Kevin O'Brien


So now, that takes us to the semifinals, where our bracket looks like this:

#1 Ghosts from Ray's Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)

#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs.
#4 Sandlot Kids (The Sandlot)


Once again, it's up to you, the readers, to determine who moves on to become the greatest fictional baseball team of all time. Remember, it's more than a popularity contest; you actully have to tell me reasons why you think one team would beat the other. Please leave a comment or e-mail me your reasons at stevensandberg@hotmail.com, and we can decide who moves on to the Championship Game!

World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams: Baseball bracket round 1

OK, here are the first round brackets for the baseball tourney of the World Championships of Fictional Sports Teams.

Here's what you have to do: Comment or e-mail me (stevensandberg@hotmail.com) your reasons for picking the winner in each matchup. Make sure that your reasons are more than just "I like the movie better." Give me a legitimate, baseball or movie-oriented reason why a particular team would defeat the other in a baseball game.

Remember, the worlds of the movies still apply. In other words, if a particular team was helped by a certain supernatural element, that also comes into play during this matchup (unless, in your breakdown, you can find a compelling or entertaining reason to take it out).

So read over the matchups, analyze the teams and players, and get me your reasons for picking the winners.

The matchups are as follows:

#1 Ghosts from Ray’s Cornfield (Field of Dreams)
Vs
#8 Rockford Peaches (A League Of Their Own)
Yes, I know that technically the Ghosts were based on the 1919 Chicago Black Sox, however, I feel bad excluding them from this contest. Plus, various aspects of the team, from Shoeless Joe Jackson batting righty in the movie (he was really a lefty) and the inclusion of young Doctor kid, means that there’s enough fictional elements to put the Ghosts in.

About the Ghosts:Shoeless Joe was described in the movie as the greatest hitter who ever lived, and he hit homer after homer in that Iowa Cornfield. Even sent a liner back at Kevin Costner for trying to throw a curve. Ghosts didn’t really show a whole lot of pitching. There seemed to be one guy who was way past his prime doing most of the work from the bump. (That’s something that always bugged me about Field of Dreams – how come Shoeless Joe’s ghost was totally in its prime, yet every other player seemed over the hill?) It’s safe to assume that there were some high run totals in that cornfield.

About the Peaches: The most dominant and popular team in the All-American Girls Baseball League. Geena Davis swung a mean bat, but didn’t get much help from a lineup that included Rosie O’Donnell (no way she hits a breaking ball) and Madonna. For the Peaches, considering that there wasn’t much in the way of batting, you’d have to think that it was pitching and defense that carried them. They were helmed by Tom Hank’s immortal Jimmy Dugan, a former major leaguer who didn’t put up with any nonsense (“there’s no crying in baseball!”). The Peaches have a definite edge in coaching.


#3 California Angels (Angels in the Outfield)
Vs
#6 Durham Bulls (Bull Durham)
Ahh yes, the most family-friendly baseball team against a team more concerned with scoring with Susan Sarandon.

About the Angels: At first glance, The Angels don’t really have a whole lot of power outside of Mitchell. Still, Mitchell seems like your typical Russell Branyan type who’ll give you 30 homers and not much else. Adrien Brody’s Danny Hemmerling was formerly a utility infielder, but lo and behold, angels gave him an edge at the place, so much so that he actually pinch hit for the power hitter Mitchell. The Angels’ main plate strategy: swing away, and let divine intervention do the rest. Tony Danza is the Angels’ ace. Even with the spirit of God shining down on him, there’s no way his body holds up over the course of the season. He’s a Jamie Moyer type, good for a 11-13 record and an ERA around 6.50. Skipper George Knox. Even in a Disneyfied world, he’s not above punching the play-by-play announcer on live television or cursing out his players in the locker room. Plus, he recognizes a good opportunity when he sees one: his season is already out of reach, so why not listen to the orphan boy who says he sees angels?

About the Bulls: Crash Davis is the main threat for the Bulls. He’s a career minor-leaguer, which means that he must’ve had numbers that were good for Triple-A but not quite good enough for a call-up. Let’s say 10 HR, .270 AVG with Durham. Again, there’s a reason this guy never made it to the big leagues. Meanwhile, Tim Robbins’ character Nuke LaLoosh is the top pitching prospect for the Bulls, and major league clubs are breathing down his neck. Plus, he’s got a great battery mate in Davis, who knows how to call a game.


#2 Cleveland Indians (Major League)
Vs
#7 Chicago Cubs (Rookie of the Year)
Two major league clubs with abysmal reputations go head to head. One team was intentionally built with the league's worst players ("Mitchell Friedman?") One team has a flamethrowing kid on the mound. Which one moves on to break the curse?

About the Indians: The Indians have one of the best power hitters in cinema history, Pedro Ceranno. He was good for about 40+ home runs, and could hit them a mile. But if you give him something off-speed, he’s completely useless, probably striking out 170 times in the season. Willie Mays Hayes had the speed to reach base on an infield hit, so long as he focused enough to stop trying to hit home runs. Roger Dorn was once a decent contact hitter, but his skills have deteriorated, and Jake Taylor is on his last legs after a once-productive career. But all they need is one game. The starting pitching for the Indians left something to be desired. Harris was the typical aging starter, but could be productive for a few innings by wiping foreign substances on the ball. Wild Thing Rick Vaughn has great velocity, but is prone to control issues if things don’t immediately go his way.

About the Cubs: For the Cubs The Kid could thrown in the 100s easily and overwhelm batters. But correct me if I’m wrong, did the kid ever throw anything other than a fastball? Eventually, hitters are going to know what’s coming. The ace of that team was Gary Busey. Gary freaking Busey. ‘Nuff said. As for coaching, all the Cubs' coach did was agree to let a kid pitch for the team. Way to throw the rest of your team under the bus. “Season’s over guys! You suck so much that we’re bringing in a 12-year-old!”


#4 Sandlot kids
Vs
#5 Hardball kids
Which one better personifies the youthfulness of the game, the talented team from the city, or the ragtag group from the sandlot? For that matter, which team was more talented?

About the Sandlot kids: From reader Anthony A.: "Clearly the leader of this team is Benjamin "The Jet" Franklin Rodriguez. The guy can play D and hit with the prowess of a 16 year old, but his best attribute is his lighting quicks. Whether its getting out of a pickle or running from the monster, this guy is sure to beat you with his speed. Plus the guy made it to the majors, which is living proof that he is a tween superstar on the diamond. Next up is Hamilton "Ham" Porter. He is the Yogi Bera of this team. He is an adept catcher with staying home run power, but he most remembered most for his classic one liners. Whether its getting into the pretty-boy baseball teams head or berating the weakest member of the Sandlot team (Scotty Smalls),"
Still, there were some holes on the team. DeNunez couldn't pitch (he even gave up a home run to Smalls). Speaking of Smalls, the kid was basically there out of charity. As Anthony A. put it "he failed at boyhood."

About the Hardball kids: Let's face it, Keanu Reeves is not coaching any team to glory by himself, which makes me believe that there had to be a lot of hidden talent on that team waiting to come out. The Hardball kids were dominant on the mound, as their ace was in a zone whenever "Big Poppa" played on his headphones. He couldn't concentrate without the song, though.


So there you have it, the baseball bracket. Now it's up to you. Get me your compelling reasons for the winning teams, and I will take all of them into consideration before the winners are announced. You can't just vote for a team, you need to give me a reason why one team would beat another at a baseball game.

Play ball.