Five columns I won't be writing in October

• The genius of Terry Francona 

Muhammad Ali had the rope-a-dope. Terry Francona just makes the rest of Major League Baseball look like dopes.

At first, it wasn't an easy sell to Red Sox management. When team officials and coaches met in the now-legendary closed door meeting on September 4th, the topic was how to gain the most momentum heading into the playoffs. Theo Epstein suggested the starting pitching staff be rested, and Jonathan Papelbon get a few days off to be ready.

At one point, Francona stood up and bellowed to Epstien: "That's what everyone expects us to do."

Francona suggested that, instead of trying to gain momentum, the Red Sox just lull the rest of the American League into a false sense of security, then strike when no one expected it. What he proposed is that the Red Sox would look like they are collapsing - letting a 9-game lead disintegrate, letting pitchers drink beer in the clubhouse, and somehow keeping JD Drew on the roster. When other teams finally let their guards down, the Sox would turn it on and cruise past them.

The result of that clandestine meeting? An American League title.

•  Mayweather vs Merchant: A bout for the ages

Is it possible to be surprised and not surprised at the same time?

After his knockout of Victor Ortiz, Floyd Mayweather had been biding his time before naming his next opponent. Rumors began swirling, as they always do, that he would finally accept a bout against the only boxer left worth fighting: Manny Pacquiao.

 But no surprise, Mayweather ducked him again. But to everyone's surprise, his next opponent will be 80-year-old boxing analyst Larry Merchant.

"Larry doesn't know (expletive) about boxing," Mayweather said at a press conference. "I plan on showing him that firsthand in this fight. By the time it's over, he's going to be eating out of a tube."

"The joke's on him," Merchant cackled in reply. "I already eat out of a tube."

•  Ivy not so green for Fitzpatrick 

He wasn't just Ryan Fitzpatrick, he was "Harvard Graduate Ryan Fitzpatrick." And what a success story it was: a kid who went to one of the best schools in the nation somehow finds success. The odds against him seemed insurmountable.

But there was one thing his Ivy League pedigree couldn't overcome: the fact that it didn't exist.

Turns out, Fitzpatrick had been living a lie. An investigation by Yahoo! Sports revealed that Fitzpatrick had actually created a fake transcript. Not only did he not go to Harvard, he didn't even play football. The closest he came was playing Madden on XBOX live while drunkenly clicking through online classes at the University of Phoenix.

• 'Musical Chairs' declared in College Football

Conferences expanding and contracting. Teams switching sides one week and going back the next. Occasionally a football game breaks out. Finally, the NCAA is embracing it.

Starting in October, the NCAA will play Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter on a week-long loop, while schools travel in a circle across the country. When the music stops, each team needs to rush toward a conference. If you don't have a chair, you're out. And that's how things will be decided on a week-by-week basis.

One week could have Oregon in the SEC, Florida in the Pac-12, and poor little Texas left out, forced to play pickup football in the parking lot.

•  Cubs on a collision course with World Series

Sure, they may have lost 91 games, but somehow I think they've still got a shot.

Bracing for a year without Blazers

For the past two years I have been living in Medford, and it's become harder to follow my beloved Blazers.

Yes, I realize that the tool I am using to write this post is also part of the largest information-gathering resource known to man, the sheer magnitude of which is capable of shrinking the world in which we live. But for a sports fan, somehow, it isn't enough. We can find highlights, game recaps, interviews, commentary, fan discussions and more online. We can subscribe to satellite TV packages to watch our games from hundreds of miles away.

But to me, there is nothing like being in the city of Portland during the Blazers' season.

Getting up in the morning, and hearing the thunk of the Oregonian hitting the kitchen table. Flipping through the oily newspaper to find the sports section and read that day's game preview. Driving near the waterfront and seeing the roof of the Rose Garden rise up over the horizon. Seeing people walk down the street and wear the jerseys of players who joined the team after 1999.

There's nothing like being there.

I'm just a few hundred miles south in Medford, and it's like being on another planet. To people here, a Blazer is something you wear to a dinner party, not something you cheer for (unless you're at a really bizarre dinner party).

Around this time two years ago, I stumbled across an AM radio station here that broadcast Blazer games. It was my lifeline.

As I worked night shifts, I would drive to stories across the Rogue Valley, catching snippets of the games during the trip. In April 2010, I alternated between covering a welcome party for the troops and welcoming back Brandon Roy against the Suns.

I would wrap up an interview, then run back to the car to get an update. I would scream as I approached Grants Pass and the reception turned to a loud buzz, but I would strain to decipher any details through the static. I would linger for an extra few minutes in the parking lot at the end of the night so I wouldn't miss any of the action.

Hearing the sounds of Bill Schonely's voice interrupt the national radio show to introduce the Blazer broadcast was like Christmas morning.

I wonder if I'll ever hear it again?

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The chances of NBA basketball this season are not good. As what would've been the start of the season approaches, I'm suddenly realizing how much I'm going to miss my Blazers.

A few months ago, I wrote about how I would prefer a lockout over a Blazer team that looked unimpressive on paper. I was wrong.

Any Blazer team is better than no Blazer team.

It doesn't matter if they win 50 games or lose 50 games. They're still our team. I once rooted for the Blazers even as they slogged their way to a 21-win season, and I couldn't have been happier. In the end I was still able to root for my team no matter what happened.

This lockout takes that all away.

It could be an entire season without the Blazers. A whole year with no reason to pick up that newspaper. Nothing to keep be lingering in the parking lot. Nothing but static on the AM radio.

It's going to be a long, dark year.